Lost
by infiltrate the enemy fat kid
Summary: "I'm sitting here, on the brink of defeat about to lose this battle so I can gain everything back. Sometimes determination, in the end, is the one thing that can really define our demise." Sad!Cho - my first piece of fanfiction, ever. Enter at own risk!


**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters you recognise in this fictional story belonging to Joanne Kathleen Rowling, Warner Bros. and whoever else…__Bloomsbury__ and Scholastic_.

**Author's note: **READ THE STORY SLOWLY!_As pathetic as pathetic goes, I figured I just had to re-edit this for the final time while I think my writing is at least decent. Although considered partially like a chore, I think my first attempt at HP fanfiction deserves it. If it is feeling shonky, it's because I've tried to make this decent without changing the whole story completely (which is actually kind of hard!). Edit- story done and it's just a whole different thing. Ah well… P.S. Cho sucks! _

****

**Lost**

_infiltrate__ the enemy fat kid_

_I'm sitting here, on the brink of defeat; about to lose this battle so I can gain everything back. _

She sat there, staring at her velvet hanging without really noticing them. Her vision blurred as her eyes were burning, never blinking. Tears overflowed onto her cheeks when she let her head down, she had tried to will herself not to cry.

Her friends had not come up to see her that night; perhaps they had forgotten her or perhaps they had left her their on purpose. Excuses spun through her mind as quick as her tears had started along her face.

She sniffed in the dimmed silence, that's when she noticed that she was quite alone.

She looked at the darkened sky and wasn't even surprised to see the moon had yet again been overshadowed by the clouds. It made her almost feel satisfied to know that somewhere out there, there was injustice also.

She had cornered him the other week, in a fit of rage. She had wanted answers to the questions she knew only he could answer. She had yelled at Harry, she had screamed and cried at him; begging him for answers.

_"Cho?"___

_"For Merlins's sake Harry, just answer me!" she yelled at him. _

_"What?" he had half yelled at her back, looking disturbed, "What do you want?"_

_Cho's__ eyes widened at Harry's expression, "Are you afraid of me, Harry?"_

_He looked like he was about to laugh, but recovered when he saw how serious she was, "I really don't want to have to hex you…"_

_Cho sobbed as she gripped her wand, "You saw him right? You saw Cedric right at the moment he died. Tell me, what happened. Did Cedric say anything to you about me? Was he in pain? Did he call out to me? TELL ME HARRY! EVERYTHING! I NEED TO KNOW!"_

_Harry had also his wand out, he looked shaken, "You're not all right, Cho…"_

_"OF COURSE I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!" She yelled in frustration with tears dripping down her face, "I n-never ever blamed you Harry! And now you won't even give me his last moments. I loved him more than you cared and I need to know what happened to him!"_

_Harry shook his head, when she saw him raise his wand she got hysterical. _

_"Why didn't you bring him back, Harry? Why couldn't you have saved him? He was never important to the Dark Lord. Harry, why did he have to die?" She whispered through her tears, with each word she came closer toward him. _

_"Stop it, Cho." _

_"What if it was me, Harry? Would you have dragged my body back? Or would you have left me there to rot like you did with Cedric?"_

_Harry held his wand steadily but his eyes were worried, "You're sick, Cho. You're sick." _

_That's when she started to cry again, louder and louder so that maybe everyone in Hogwarts could hear her cries and remember her love. _

"Cedric…" she whispered to herself

Cho had contemplated the pain and she knew she wanted it to go away. She couldn't remember the time when everything in life was OK, when she was able to smile again without feeling guilty or sad. She had tried to live again but it was so hard to remember those times…

Hope. She had believed in that once, until the lingering reassurance of death took its place. With Death as an infinite companion, she knew that there was no possible way she could get back to her life before Cedric. She could finally sleep in peace.

Cedric…

The first time they met and first time they kissed was like the moment her soul was truly born. It was really love, no matter what everyone had said. She had never known how much he had meant to her until he was taken; so she had never told him how much she had loved him.

She missed him, so much.

Then it was something like a delayed revelation. Nothing was really holding her back. She could leave this world and fly to wherever she wanted. She could go to Cedric.

Nothing else really mattered. Nothing else could.

Death, it was her salvation. She would go to it and embrace it like a friend. She could fight for it and never let go until everything else would fall apart.

Her fingers grazed the dark blur velvet. Grasping it tightly, she tore the lining along the top of her four poster bed swiftly. With quiet words, the velvet turned into rough rope. She looked up at the large supporting beam right above her then looked toward the stool that remained at the centre of her room. She worked her way quietly and determined

Whispering her goodbyes to the world, for the first time she thought of hope.

_  
If tonight I am fighting,_

_fighting__ this darkness but am weakened._

_Then I lose the fight and I lose the battle,_

_I lose the war._

_Thus am lost._

**-The End-**

**Final Author's Note: **_First__written at the age of twelve; hastily rewritten at fifteen. Chore complete! _****


End file.
